Conversational guidelines: How to make yourself intriguing to her

Let’s say that it’s freday night, and you are in a bar bar with your best friend, you strike up a conversation with to girls both of you likes, but 5 minuts in the conversation  run out of things to say, and you don’t know how to go forward with the conversation.

How can you build a deep emotional connection with her; how can you make her like you enough so that she want to meet up another day with you again? 

Let me tell you there is a couple of key point that makes a big difference. The first rule of thumb is that you should strive to keep the conversation emotional, this is done by giving your own emotional perspective on things witch hopefully will inspire her to give her emotional perspective. Though the goal is to make the conversation about your and hers emotions,  the first few moments of the conversation it’s often necessary to fokus on just getting the conversation going; this is especially true if you cold approached her.

But once you said the first couple of sentences start building the connection.

What should you say to build a romantic and personal connection between you?

OKAY here is my key advice at thise pont, do not do what everybody else does, do not begin talking about: where you live, what you do for a living and son on. In fact try not to reveal what you do for a living, where you’re from, how old you are, how much you earn, bragging or talking about how many cool things you have done, how much you are worth and so forth will kill the tension between you and her and thus the attraction. When this is said, please note that this doesn’t mean that you should withhold information from her in a lame attempt to seem mysterious, if she ask directly about any of the just mentioned subjects, answer her but don’t make those the subject of the conversation. OHH AND YOU SHOULD ALSO Avoid talking about the weather!

Instead you should reveal things that will intrigue her curiosity about you, plus you ALLWAYS should strive to keep the conversation on emotional topics, this means that you by all means should avoid asking and talking about logical and factual topics mentioned above. I know I have said this quit some times now, but the fact is that most guys comit this mistake and I don’t want you to do the same.

REMEMBER all factual topics are pointless when it comes to build a connection with another human, these topics will make you fail to move the relationship and the connection forward. It’s when we share our feelings and personal perceptions on the world that we build interpersonal bonds, and that why you should keep the conversation emotional, strive to make her talk about what FEELS strongly about – for example her dreams, her relationships, things she loves to do and emotional experiences she has had in her life, and then you should simply relate to whatever you can.

Staying away from the factual things about you and her, will keep some mystery between you, it will make you seem more interesting. This is a great way of making her attracted to you, and yhus you will quickly notice that a little intrigue goes a long way.

Intrigue fascinates women, it makes you stand out from the factual and boring guys, it gets her thinking about you and the more when you are not together, i give her something to figure out (girls love htat), which all together makes her think about you more, and let face it, the more she thinks about you when you are not their, the more invested she will be in you when you are together, and thus the more she will like (and eventually love) you.

REMEMBER: Intrigue will make her chase you!

How to make yourself intriguing to her?


There is one simple but very powerful way to make you self very intriguing to her:

Here is the 2-step formula:

  1. Make her enough interested to ask you any question, and then
  2. Dodge answering the question by giving her a non-answer, and then
  3. Deflects the question by asking her something about herself or changing the topic entirely.

This technique is quite simple all you have to do is to STOP GIVING HER FACTS about yourself, especially when she asks for them!! Facts kill anything intriguing!! Here are the most common examples;

  • Her: “How old are you?”
  • You: “Old enough (dodge); how old are you? (deflect)”

(no matter how much she ask don’t answer this on)

  • Her: “where are you from?”
  • You: “I’m from a town far away, but I’m here now and like it (dodge) – So… Why did you choose to be a nurse?” (deflect)

(sometimes it can be an advantage to make it really obvious that you don’t want to answer a question, when you make it obvious she will notice that you dodged answering and this will spank intrigue quite fast, and remember no matter how much she ask don’t give her the answer, at least until you have build a real strong connection with her)

This simple technique will lull her into the exciting frustration of wanting to know something about another person, but yet having absolutely no idea how to get the answer. And on top of that she knows that you know the answer, but she don’t why you won’t tell her, and that’s actually where the real intrigue are born. She will be thinking of you like a crazy asking herself: Is he hiding something? Why won’t he talk about his past? This will become a puzzle she HAS to solve, and she will thus have a hard time forgetting about you are intriguing enough. (read also: link-> )

When she lastly sees you as an intriguing guy  it’s important that keep withholding the information she wants at least for while until you have build a solid connection and have generated more attraction. If you give her information too soon, then you are kind letting the air out of the balloon and you risk to kill the sexual tension between you.

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Hey Markus here, I'm the founder and humble author this website.    

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