How to AVOID that she looses her attraction for you (continues escalation in conversation)
The art of Sexual Escalation Revealed:
Why is it important that you understand the rules of sexual escalation?
A continues escalation is the most important thing this in any romantic relationship – this is especially true in the beginning. I think you know this is true because most us guy has tried to be I a conversation with a girl where every was going superb, you were flirting and clearly attracted to each other, but then you failed to make a move and attraction vanished after a while. This is the picture of how thing are going to play out if you refrain from a continuously escalation from the beginning in a new relationship to the end.
This realization is also a cornerstone in the art of keeping your conversation with her interesting, because it’s in fact your continuously escalation (physically but also your escalation of the relationship) that makes the interaction interesting between you and the girl – without escalation most conversation will soon start to stall.
What exactly is escalation and how is it done?
Escalation can be many things, first of all there is the physical escalation (kino escalation) starting with eye contact, the gentle touching, then more extensive touching, then kissing and then the sexual encounter. Physical touching is a whole topic of itself so I won’t go into details about right now (but I will make an entire article about soon), instead I will focus on the verbal escalation of a romantic relationship all the way from the beginning until the end. Verbal escalation is when you tell her that you like her; this can be done many ways from directly telling her that you like her to the more discreet cues.
Okay so far so good.. But before you can go through the actual process of escalation, I have to tell you that you can’t (read: should not) start to escalate your relationship with a girl before she has given you any reason to do so. This might sound a weird to you but in real life you have to justify your attraction to her, otherwise she won’t understand why you like her and thus recent you because she thinks you only like her for her look, like all the other guys out there.
In practice this means that you have to give her a reason for liking her (other than her look)?
The thing is though, that you can’t just tell her that you like any random thing about her – it has to be real – so ideally you should get her to reveal a personal value (a belief or something that makes her – her). This is only possible if you get her to tell you something personal about herself, something that you can relate to or maybe even something that aligns with you inner values and thus is something that you naturally appreciate, if you find such a thing it justifies you attraction to her because it means that you and her share the same values and thus she can understand why you like her.
Here is how sexual escalation is done in practice:
Below you will find an actual step-by-step guide to how to pick a girl up in a club:
I see a girl that I find attractive in the club, I walk over and sit down next to her, now I have to tell her why I choose to sit next to her exactly, and for how long I’m going to stay. (The last part has nothing to do with the art of escalation, but if you tell her right from the start that you are only going to stay for a couple of minutes, then it’s unconsciously going to ease her mind about you forcing yourself on her)
Here is specific transcript of an actual conversation:
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- You: [smiling from before you even start walking in her direction] “Hi [lighting up your eyes], I think you look interesting, so I have decided to come over and sit next to you for a couple of seconds…[1 sec pause] By the way, hey I’m Markus” [Smiling – and introducing you self].
- You: So how is to live here in New York?
- Her: I like it, but I have only been here for a couple of months..
- You: Okay so where were you before?
- Here: blab la just outside New York
[Okay so she just revealed something about herself (she’s from outside New York), which give you an opportunity to validate her a bit by telling her that you have often thought about experiencing the outside New York for a change]
- You: Okay.. Most of the time I am here in US I’m In New York, So I’ve have often wondered how the rest of US Is like, I like to experience some of the smaller town around Bla bla land where you are from.
- Her: It beautiful out there..
[Here the conversation starts to stall a bit because she is trying to figure out why you talk to her, so only have a couple of minutes from this point to really find out something about her that you like, some core life values that you have in common]
- You: okay so, tell me about yourself, since I love meeting new people, you have to tell me everything about yourself!!
- Her: ahhmm.. [thinking a bit shocked about the huge question]
- Her: I used to ride horses for a living..
- You: really I used to have a girlfriend that had a horse, I was really afraid of that jade.
[There were really no personal values to be found in her answer, so you have to dig deeper]
- You: What made you start riding horses?
- Her: blab la
- You: Wow, how does it feel to sit on top of such a huge monster, I know I would be scared.
- Her: [she laughs – thinking that you are cute – because you showed her that you are vulnerable]
[You just gave value to the fact that she dares to ride a horse, it validate that you say around her a couple of minutes more to find out if you like more about her]
[Furthermore it’s time to reveal you intentions for you coming over!!]
- You: Hmm okay, so who are you here with? Your boyfriend?
- Her: No.. bla bla waiting for girlfriend…
[Make you intentions clear (in a funny way)]
- Puuuha.. [looking relieved] thank god – I were afraid that your boyfriend was going to come and kick me but, because I was sitting here and hitting at your, or something….
- Her: No
- Bla blab la
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Okay so the point of this example was to give you a very real conversational example of how an interaction between you and a girl could go. As you see I have made the guy continuously escalation on any high point, (yes it’s a high point when she invest in the conversation by giving answers that has the least personal content)
The bottom-line here is, that the point of you conversation with a stranger should be about getting that person reveal what he/she find valuable in their life, how they spend their time, and why they have chosen to do so.
How to AVOID that she looses her attraction for you (continues escalation in conversation),