How to compliment a girl without being creepy

Before I tell you word for word how to give at girl a complement that she will never forget and truly appreciate, I first need to illustrate the social dynamics going on when you give somebody a complement.

Understanding the social dynamics of a compliment:

In the modern world of today very few things are really free, and even if something is free, it’s most often only free because the provider has some agenda behind offering you that thing for free!

This is for example the case with free sample products, they are offered to you (the potential consumers) for free because the provider what you/them to buy a product. It’s useful to notice how people are “used” to this connection between getting something “free” and that the provider has some hidden “agenda” with this “free offer”! And because people are “used” to this connection most people thus expect that if they get something for free then there is usually something in it for the donor.

The average person is presented to promotional offers like described above,  you of all people are actually being exposed to such an offer right now! Because in the sidebar of this page I offer you to gain access to a number of free eBooks, all you have to do is to entering a few of your personal contact information’s, and then you’ll get full access. Some people do this because it’s a believable and fair “deal” to them, they understand the deal: We get your email and you get access to some of our premium eBooks for free.

When you give somebody a compliment, it’s actually very useful to understand: “Why people accept such a “free” offer”. Because when you give somebody a compliment its actually a lot offering the some gift for FREE.

  • People signup for such an offer because they understand whats in it for both parter,
  • They understand that we offer it for free because we hope that they might become a payer member later on.
  • The deal is believable because it’s a “win-win” situation, we get a potential customers information and the you “the potential customer” get the eBooks for free.

The button-line here is:

If a “deal” isn’t believable – people will be VERY reluctant to that such deal.

The reason is that people won’t accept “gifts” that they don’t feel they deserve!

Not convinced? Okay – here’s a quick example:

  • Imagine that I tool you right now, that I would give anyone a “Farrari Enzo” for FREE  – all they had to do was to turn up at my doorstep!
  • Would you turn up?

I’ll bed that 99% of all people wouldn’t take this offer, simply because it’s not believable!

It’s to go to be true, so people will expect that there is something “fishy” about it. Because it makes no sense, they have done nothing to deserve a free Farrari Enzo, so they would fear that it would be some kind of “trick-offer”, or that I would at least have some kind of hidden agenda with this FREE offer.

You can try this out yourself;

  • Just walk straight up to any stranger on the street and offer him or her 100 USD without any explanation!
  • They won’t take them, because they don’t understand why you want to give them that money.  The thing is, that most people in the modern world, would walk away and not take the car or the money..
  • The offer wouldn’t even make them happy, I’ll bet that some people might even get mad at you because they thought that you were trying to make a fool out of them.

If I wanted somebody to really turn up and claim the Farrari I had to make them feel that they deserved it, If I ask them to give their to complete some hard task for a year, then I’ll bet you that their would be a much bigger chance that someone would show up, because they would then see that they have to give something up to get something, and thats makes it a believable and thus much more trustworthy offer.

This is a physiological phenomenon that hold true in most cases, the thing is that; people won’t appreciate anything that they don’t feel they actually deserve.
And the same principle hold true for verbal “gifts” like for instance a when you complement someone, the button-line here is that when it comes down to giving and receiving a complement people has to understand why they get that complementm they have to feel that they did something to deserve it, otherwise they won’t truly appreciate and value that complement.

So, How do you compliment a girl?

Once you understand the dynamics described above, it’s actually pretty simple. If you want to give someone something for “free” (Like a complement) you have to tell them “whats in it for you” otherwise they won’t really take the deal because it seems to good to be true.

The moment they understand what it for you, they will no longer worry if you have some hidden agenda for being so nice to them, because they know you are nice to them.

Okay. it’s time to give you a real life example (of me giving a compliment to a girl):

  • The formula: Tell the girl what you like about her, but then also tell her what POSITIVE feeling’s that thing awakens inside you.
  • The example: Wow, not only are you sexy, but you are also incredibly smart, I like that, because that makes me feel, that I can have a real and honest conversation with you.

Further insight on compliments..

How to compliment a girl without being creepy, 3.0 out of 6 based on 11 ratings

Written by

Hey Markus here, I'm the founder and humble author this website.    

VN:F [1.9.22_1171]

How many stars does this article deserves?

Rating: 3.0/6 (11 votes cast)

Write a comment - We need your input!

Please enter the letter/number from the image just above