The art of dealing with rejection and stay confidence
How to handle rejection
Having a great dating life is an ongoing process, no matter how good you get with women – you’ll still have to face rejections once in a while from women, and though its getting easier and easier to handle, I must admit that it still to some degree affect my mood negatively every time it doesn’t turn out as I’d hoped.
It’s even the case, when I lose a girl that I didn’t even like that much initially, but now she won’t return my calls and stop thinking of her.
The question is how do you keep your mood up and avoid taking a rejection personal?
One thing I have found to be really efficient to keep my mood steady when facing rejections is a full dating schedule in my calendar, the feeling of having multiple girls lined up and interested in me helps me too defy taking any given rejection from one particular girl personal, and it keep me acting with a mentality of abundance, which of cause is very attractive.
Next I want to discuss some of the tricks that I use myself in my dating life to stay confident and nearly unaffected by rejections from women:
First of all: Be Busy!
The fuller a schedule you have, the less time you’ll have to think and obsess about any particular girl. In my experience one of the worst things you can do for your confidence is sitting home in front of your computer, alone and making excuses for why you aren’t living the life of your dreams.
I have noticed when my schedule is not full I feel like I have all the time in the world this means that I postpone most things, sleep the whole day, and don’t get anything done.
My life (especially my social life) start to procrastinate social circle starts shrink and I start to get a little bit depressed.
The busier I am, the more I get done, the happier I am, and the better I am at planning outings whit friends and so on.
The best thing you can do for your life is in my opinion too keep your calendar full, this will force you to start planning nights out with your body’s or go do a new hobby.
In fact in my experience this is the number one way to build confidence, remember a rolling stone gathers no moss. As a site note too this advice I would recommend you to send out a mass text inviting everybody you know.
Even if no one shows – invitations serves like social investments, because the more invitations you’ll send out the more you’ll receive.
Going for a first date? Here my advice: Have a back-up plan!
No matter how great you get at dating girl will always flake (not show up). And nothing hurt my self-confidence more than a last minute cancellation.
You know when you are all psyched up about the evening, and you have been looking forward for the date for couple of days, and then at the last minute she sends you the cancelation text-message!!
That sucks, you go from yehh I’m going on a date with this hot girl, too; boo meybe she didn’t after all and then on top of that you’re stuck home for the whole evening because you didn’t make any other plans so you end up sitting at home watching movies.
Don’t let some stupid flake ruin your night or your positive and happy vibe; instead prepare a backup plan, one thing that I often do is that I send out a couple of text messages to see what my friends are doing that night. I she flunks I just go have a fun night out with some friend instead.
Make some calls and if no one is in, make yourself go anyway!
Get the phone number… from the guys in the club!
Most guys’ do the mistakes of only approaching and talking to girls when they are out clubbing. But getting the phone numbers of sexy single women aren’t the only people you want to get numbers from.
When you are out in the bars and club you should strive to look like a guy who just like being social, if you are only talking to the girls in the club you look more like a guy who’s on the hunt for some girl action.
Thus it can be equally important to talk to the guys there, also exchange contact info with cool guys, married couples, and girl who you don’t find attractive or girl who already is in a relationship.
When you talk to anyone, people and especially hot girls will notice that you are very social guy, and thus you won’t have the “creepy guy”-image who approaches every single girl in the club – to the “fun natural social guy”-image who just likes to talk to anyone.
Approaching everybody will also help you build a strong social circle, which will help you stay social, happy and confident.
All you have to do is to add them to your mass invites when go out, and soon you will find that they have brought their cute single friends whit them.
Getting into a talkative mood.
One of the most important things you can do when going out to a club or bar, is to get your conversational skills warmed up before you get there. Sitting at home on the couch the whole day playing computer before an outing will not get you into a natural social and talkative mood.
Being in a social and happy state is a crucial element of being on top of your game. Getting you state up with a pre-outing routine has been the solution for me for years.
- Listen to your favorite party music.
- Call a couple friends ask them to join you or just have a fun conversation with them.
- Talk to people on street on your way to the club.
If you talk to everybody on the way to the club, you are not going to have no trouble to strike up a conversation with somebody when you get there.
Start off talking to people whom see social and approachable!
Don’t just walk up to the single hottest girl you see in the club when you enter. Give you self time to get into a talkative state, start light by talking to the friendliest looking people.
One easy approach is to walk up to some wall flower guys standing in the corner and strike up a conversation.
Ask them; “Hey guys, how your luck with the ladies is tonight?”
This opener works every time for 2 reasons; first off because those guys will know you are not gay, this will instantly makes them relax more about you, secondly they are just standing there trying to look cool, so if you can help them appear and feel cool they are going to love you for it.
Also giving someone else encouragement often gets me in a surprisingly better mood than you could imagine. The great thing about it, is that those guy are likely to sit there all night drinking beer, so you can always come back to their table when you are done talking to other people. You can even try to introduce them to some new people and suddenly you’ll that guy who knows everyone!