Here is the method that will make you become talktive!!

I don’t want to sound likeI’m trying to hype something here, but let me tell you this is one solid conversation technique, that all natural outgoing people uses, it has truly helped me a lot the last couple of years. I spend thousands of dollars on conversational coaches learning how to be better socially and this one technique was all worth it – And now im giving it to you for free!!

So LISTEN UP, if use the next 10 minutes reading this post then you will learn something great about making conversation. In lack of a better name I call this method ThreadSpinning.

 

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HeHe I’m so excited that I have butterflies in my stomach while I’m writing this, because I know that once you figure out how this works, then you will never – like EVER – again find yourself stranded – running out of things to say in a conversation – even if you are not feeling very social that day.

ThreadSpinning is a technique that will help you produce conversation like never before; it’s a very efficient, if not the most efficient way of turning a boring conversation into a really interesting interaction.  The technique is simple; all you have to do is taking one word (or the theme) from a sentence and then spinning it into conversation content that is in sync with the context and therefore relevant the prior conversational thread. Okay that came of a bit abstract, so let me show you how this work instead.

Here is an example: Imagine you self asking a woman:

  • You: “So, what did you do today?” and she reply’s you with:
  • Her: “Well thanks for asking – I had a really low-key night – I just chilled out, watched some TV, and had a few beers.”

Okay that is in my opinion just some weak sauce; it gives us noting much to work with. But it’s exactly here the ThreadSpinning technique comes into play. Before we go further please take notice of the most significant words in that answer (her sentence), these are ThreadSpinning words.

  • Low-key
  • Chilled out
  • Television
  • Beers

When ThreadSpinning all you do is pick to the word that appeal the most to you, and then you use it as a foundation to form a new sentence, a sentence that will then kicks off a new thread of conversation. The new thread can be about a similar topic or it can be about a completely different one, but to make this work you have to use one of the significant words from the original sentence (the seed sentence) otherwise the newly spun thread will seem out of context.

Here are a couple of examples:

Low-key: “Ah man, I’m a bit jealous, I wanted to have a low-key evening last night, but my friends came around and dragged me out to a bar…. funny evening though”

Beer: “Yeah beer, I like that – I just had the odd experience though – my parents has always been really anti-drinking especially when I was a teenager, but last night I was talking to my mom and I mentioned to her that I couldn’t sleep, and surprisingly she told me to just down a beer before bedtime. It was so weird to hear that from my mom, I gave it a try though – and I slept like a drunken baby.”

ThreadSpinning with Themes

I think you are starting to get the picture here, the cool thing is with a little practice you can utilize this technique quit easily, and you can even do the exact same thing with whole themes, instead of words. Similarly you can start any new threads based on themes as long as it shares the same theme as the prior sentence. For example: “Well thanks for asking – I had a kind of low-key night – I chilled out, watched some TV, and had a beer.” If we sort out some of the most significant themes, we end up with some like these:

  • Stress-free – Resting – Comfortable
  • Entertainment – Internet – Movie
  • Alcohol – Food – Party

Using themes for ThreadSpinning works just as above using words – Her are a few examples:

Entertainment: “Yeah, I like watching TV – I think TV is the best entertainment when I need to relax. I especially love to watch TV-series like Friends and Californiacation – those are my two favorite’s shows – I think Hank Moody is the coolest TV character, all guy wants’ to be like him, and all girl want to be with him – I like that”.

Alcohol: “Wow, now you mentioned it, I just realized it’s been a while since I last had a drink. I stopped drinking a few weeks ago – because I’m doing the P90X program – and I also temporarily wanted to see what it was like to go out at night without social lubricant. Such weird experience the first couple of times, I almost felt in, but now I’m really starting to like it.”

Final thoughts on ThreadSpinning.

Don’t flip the intended meanings of words or themes from her sentence. Here’s an example:

  • Her: “I had a fantastic day.”
  • You: “Well, I just saw the ‘Fantastic Four’ movie.”

When you flip the meaning – you reply becomes out of context and that really ruins the whole idea behind this technique.

Do not over do it – yes above I pulled out every word of the seed sentence; this was for the sake of this tutorial and the explaining of the concept. Don’t do this out in the real world though – it should be more than enough to only pull out one word or one theme and then spin it – otherwise you risk coming across unnatural.

Don’t overuse ThreadSpinning in every sentence you say. It’s meant to be a tool you can use, when the other person only offer you very little. ThreadSpinning happens in natural conversations all the time, but no natural conversation only consist of these – because then the conversation would be hopping constantly from thread to another. When a conversational thread is going well, stay with it and enjoy yourself.

This doesn’t mean that you should only be ThreadSpinning once in any conversation use it’s every time you want to jump away from a boring topic. ThreadSpin until you land somewhere you like – a topic that’s pleasant and engaging, stay there until you feel conversation is about to lose momentum  (go stale) and then move on, but try to do so before it does go stale.

Implementing ThreadSpinning

Always practice before are taking any new technique out in the field – What I did was to practice on friend that I didn’t really need to ThreadSpin with to keep the conversation going. Another maybe even more efficient way to practice and implement this is with a partner. Simply just trade one sentence with another with your partner, ThreadSpin back and forth. Try to avoid asking questions – Only make statements.

Steering the conversation in a positive direction:

Some girls like to complain or in other ways talk about negative stuff, this technique are also extremely efficient to steer the conversation away from this, not because she’s not “allowed” to speak about things that bother her, but because if you want to create a strong connection with her, the you want to do that on positive ground.

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Hey Markus here, I'm the founder and humble author this website.    

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